¿Dónde están los ángeles?

I haven't blogged for a long time. So many things happened since my last post (3 years!!!). After moving to Dubai for work, I got married and we have a beautiful son named Cyan. 

A year ago, we moved to Los Angeles. I really love this city. I think it's my favorite place to be right now. I am a full time mom which is amazing but hard, and I'm trying to enjoy every moment of it before Cyan grows up and goes to school (oh the heartbreak!!).

I will try once again to post more regularly about my experience here and make sure the posts are short. 

:) x

I took this photo with my iPhone 6 from the Hollywood sign.

Doobye Beirut.

I took this photo with my iPhone from Sassine Square in Beirut


It is funny sometimes when I think about all the moments when I got fed up with this country and I wished I could just leave, and now that this is about to become true, I feel like something is holding me back... It is a strange feeling that I have never experienced before, although I have lived abroad a few years back but didn't feel that way at all.

I am turning 27 years old in a few hours, then a few days later I will be moving to Dubai for work and I can't wait for that day to come. So many changes are happening, so I will consider it as an opportunity for a good new start!

All I feel right now is pure love for Beirut and anger towards the mess from politics, people's attitudes and their way of life. Being one of them makes me proud and angry at the same time because I don't want to relate to their bad manners. I want to be the good Lebanese. On the other hand, there is a minority of Lebanese youth who are willing to change this country and they are trying so hard, so I hope that they will succeed someday, but I doubt that this will be effective anytime soon.

At the end, it's not like I'm moving back to Ecuador or to the other side of the world (in fact I wish I was!)! Dubai is 3 hours away by plane, so I can come during weekends and holidays... But I guess things will not be the same...

Goodbye Beirut, I love you and I will miss the stress that you cause to me. See you soon!

Street Photo of the Week #30 :)

My photo just got selected by Beirut Street Photographers as the Photo of the Week #30 for the theme "Reading"!

I feel so happy now that my photo has been selected, and I look forward to getting better in photography!

I took this photo on wednesday while walking from Verdun towards Hamra. I had my camera with me (Sony Alpha 55) and I wanted to try my new 50mm lens. When I got next to Red Shoe, I saw this woman with her cool beehive sitting on a small black pole on the street reading her newspaper. Her husband was also reading next to her (I didn't like the picture that I took of him so I didn't upload it). Being a very shy person, I took the photo then felt so embarrassed! While I was shooting, the couple didn't even realize I was there so I was relieved! I felt lucky for bumping into such an interesting character. :)

A friend of mine from BSP said that this couple always hangs out at the same stop everyday to read their newspaper. Isn't that cute??

Thank you BSP for choosing my photo!

Here's the link, I hope you like it!

http://beirutstreetphotography.com/2011/12/17/street-photo-of-the-week-30/

When Dreams...

When some dreams become reality, they can be transformed into melancholic memories...

Home Sweet Beirut!

Sunset over Beirut taken from my parents' balcony

I got back to Beirut last week after spending one month in Dubai. I did not feel like leaving Dubai, especially after spending most of the time with Meedo. We had a great time together and with friends, and I was enjoying the sunny weather. The night when I was flying back to Beirut was not very pleasant as it took the pilot around an extra hour to be able to land the aircraft due to a storm...

I love traveling but I hate airplanes. I have to admit that I have a phobia the day before the trip and during the flight, but I do not freak out in public. Instead, I order a glass of wine and try to enjoy the ride as if I were on a roller coster.

Back to the night of the flight, the pilot announced that we were landing in Beirut R.H. International Airport. Suddenly he took off so fast that my ears popped. Then silence. We kept ascending for more than 30 minutes and it was getting annoying because the pilot did not update us on what was going on.

There was a guy sitting next to me on the airplane, and he looked exactly like Johnny Depp - but in a younger version. He was nice to me especially when he set a blanket over me while I was taking a nap. We did not talk at all (I don't like to talk to strangers even if I am a big girl now). But apparently he was more paranoid than I was when the aircraft could not land. He was shaking his legs, and biting his nails, then he asked me: "Can you see lights or something??" (because I was sitting on the aisle), so I calmly replied: "Yes, don't worry I am sure the pilot is making another turn so that we could land... but isn't it weird that he hasn't announced anything??!"...
I was a bit surprised of how calm I was, so the wine's effect was really good at that time!

We finally landed, and we laughed at each other. At that time I thought it was quite funny to be scared on an airplane, and that it is not worth being paranoid on board anymore.

My sister was driving me home and we passed through Beirut and I knew that I missed this messed up city that will always remain beautiful to my heart. Home sweet Beirut!

Hello Doobye!

Burj Khalifa (iPhone Photo)

Dubai metro station (iPhone Photo)


my friend Loryne on the metro (iPhone Photo)

Loryne and I being silly (iPhone Photo)


I have been in Dubai for the past week to do some interviews and to look for a job. This is my third time in the city, and the second during this year. I never imagined that I would choose Dubai as a place to work and live, especially after living in Doha, but during this visit I started to really really like it!!!

This time I have stopped doing the regular touristy stuff, so I am spending my time as a person who has been living here for quite a while. I like taking the metro but not the bus because it takes a lot of time to arrive. Waiting for the bus makes me miss my car back home... I think that within a few years, public transportation in Dubai will get easier and faster.

People here are nice and laid back, they don't complain about things like traffic, politics or religion like in Beirut! I should not compare Dubai to Beirut because they are totally different cities, but at the same time it is quite hard avoiding that! I have many friends here from school, university, Doha and Beirut, and it makes me happy to see them doing well and working hard!

The only thing I need to do, is to take pictures with my lonely camera and share them with you here!

I just realized that my last post was in July (SHAME ON YOU SAMSAM)!!!!

The internet connection is faster here so this time, really this time, I promise to post more over here!!!

EcoBra!

I have recently designed a Bra for "Bras For A Cause" competition on the Training Bra category. This competition is brought by One Wig Stand and Fustany.com who are raising awareness about Breast Cancer in Lebanon and the Middle East.

I called it the "EcoBra" because it is made of pieces from old bras. I came up with this idea to remind people about the importance of recycling, and to promote a cause within a cause. :)

If you like it - and even if you don't :p - please click here and vote for my EcoBra! ;)

More about "The Land of Fairies"!

a summer house on our way to Pori

I've been trying to select some of my photos from Finland to post them on this blog (yes after almost one year from the trip!) and it's quite hard to do that.

Outi's parents came over to Lebanon two weeks ago for the first time and they really loved it! They said that I should go back to Finland and visit Lapland which is located in the North Pole, and it's home to Father Christmas (Joulupukki) or Santa Claus. During summer in July, there is one day when the sun rises for 24 hours, so no night! (I so want to go there!)

My list of "places to be" is getting bigger, so I hope to be able to visit them all!

Here are some more photos from last year's trip to Finland, I will soon be posting some pictures from Sweden, Estonia and Ecuador. I hope to post them soon this time! ;)

view of Helsinki from Torni Tower

Helsinki

at a park in Helsinki

Helsinki port by bicycle

Helsinki port

green... green... and birds...

Cathedral in Helsinki

my favorite blue house cafe

beautiful sunset at 12:00 a.m. :)

I like the architecture in Helsinki

on the way back home from Muse concert

Samira in "The Land of Fairies" Part 3.

I will tell you my trip stories from now on with more pictures and less writing! Yay! :)

I'm recollecting my memories from Helsinki while going through the pictures and it gives me goosebumps...

The next few days we biked all around Helsinki... I wish we had roads like that in Beirut! Every single place kept me amazed... Check out the pictures, I hope you like them! ;)

The spectacular view of Helsinki from the toilet of Torni Tower which is the highest in Helsinki.

We went by bike to the yacht port in Helsinki where people were having ice cream while sea guls watched...

I like the buildings and their colors...

We had a couple of yummi blueberry ciders at this bar!

They were good, of course they deserved a little tip! :)

We went for shopping in this area, but I'm not a good shopper (which is why there are no photos for evidence!). Good sales were on!

Biking... The fresh summer breeze in Helsinki feels also gentle in the middle of the city!

We went to the "Blue House" coffee shop which is located next to the river... Amazing view, good coffee, yummi Korvapuusti and nice people!

Another picture of the "Blue House" coffee shop. If you visit Helsinki you have to visit this place!

Long Time No Samsam!

Procrastination: the only reason why I haven't blogged for a very long time.

After being in Finland, Sweden and Estonia I have visited my first home: Ecuador. I stayed there for 40 amazing days that I spent with family traveling around and even visiting Galapagos Islands! A few weeks ago I went with my friends for a short trip to Dubai which was really fun!

I will make sure to continue to post from where I stopped starting from Finland to Dubai with many pictures! This time I will write less to help you read faster! :)

Oh and by the way I got a new DSLR from Dubai! Now I no longer have excuses to stop blogging!

I hope you'll enjoy my upcoming posts! ;)

Samirai in "The Land of Fairies" Part 2.

The next two days Outi and I went for a walk in a forest where I got bitten by mosquitos all over my face. I soon forgot about the rash after being surrounded by trees, lakes, birds and butterflies. I tried to take pictures of them but it was impossible for me to take good ones!

Back to Helsinki's city center by bicycle where Outi showed me the building where her office is located (check the picture above, it's amazing!), then we went to meet Maria at a very cosy coffee house where I had my first (and yummiest!) Korvapustii, a Finnish cinnamon roll. The coffee house was located on top of a small hill with a nice view on a lake. Outi and Maria told me to watch out for my food from the seagulls cause those villains can attack my food anytime! Seagulls, beware of the Ghoul! :)

Another day comes when Outi introduced me to one of her childhood friends Ellina, a very sweet mother to be (the yummi mumi!). We took a ferry to Suomenlinna (Castle of Finland) an inhabited sea fortress built on six islands by Sweden in 1748, when Finland was still a part of the Swedish kingdom. It was obviously a nice tourist destination in Helsinki as it was crowded. I couldn't resist my hunger, so I had a pear ice cream which I found very creamy and tasty. Finland this summer had one of the hottest seasons ever recorded, and it was very common to see the high demand on ice cream!

The sun is still beautifully shining as always during summertime in Helsinki. Outi had planned to take me on a boat trip on the Baltic sea that passes through Helsinki with her friends Miki and Eetu. Outi and Eetu amazingly practiced waterskiing, and I felt like I really wanted to try it but unfortunately I couldn't because of my herniated disk. Miki, the boat owner, couldn't do that also cause he had injured his arm a few days back.

After waterskiing we kept passing some little green islands where we wanted to choose a good barbecue spot. I realized that every single tiny island has a BBQ spot with all the equipment! Eetu cut the wood to light up the fire while Miki was preparing the food. Outi and I just sat down contemplating the hot air balloons, the fire and the sea... The food was great, then Eetu played his guitar while singing a Finnish song for us. On our way back, Miki gave me a fishing cane then slowed down his boat a little so I could find some fish but of course I couldn't find any!

The next day Outi and I went to buy some souvenirs, and that's where I met Muumi (a Finnish cartoon character) my favorite cartoon character ever! I got two can openers for my family which are made out of rain deer horns (no, they don't kill the animal, it's very safe: they just cut them off and they grow back!). After that we went for coffee at the Blue House on a lake, and of course once again I had Korvapustii! Later we went shopping, biking, eating, drinking then of course ice cream on a nice marina where the seagulls cry and the children play.

Samirai in "The Land of Fairies" Part 1.

I proved to myself and to all the people who didn't believe in me that I could finally graduate from university. When I came back from Qatar, I promised myself to go on vacation once this mission is accomplished (aka university). Since I always keep my promises that's what I did. I booked a ticket to Helsinki and went to visit my very dear Finnish friend Outi whom I will thank for the rest of my life. :)

On the airplane from Beirut to Prague, I met a Swedish-Lebanese lady who was in her sixties and planing to postpone her retirement because she loves her job. She was absolutely adorable, and we happened to have the same amount of hours to wait in Prague at the airport before reaching our destinations. She was telling me how her husband decided to go to Stockholm during the Lebanese civil war thirty five years ago. During that time, he was the president of the municipality of a village in the South. The Lebanese President back then helped him to start a better life in Sweden. Suad, is her name, told me how happy she was after moving to Scandinavia, and how shocked she feels every time she decides to visit Lebanon. We spent six hours at Prague airport and they went so fast cause I really enjoyed her company.

Another Lebanese-Norwegian lady called Sabah waited with us, and she also shared her story. She is divorced, living with her two young boys in Oslo while suffering the pain that her husband gives her all the time since their divorce. I remember her telling me: "I was shocked when I realised after fifteen years of marriage that my partner became a completely different person. He wasn't the one I chose to marry anymore...". She said that she fears loneliness but at the same time she loves Norway and would never come back to live in Lebanon.

I arrived to Helsinki after a long trip, very pale (I have the fear of flying so I HATE airplanes!) I met Outi's friend called Maria who was very kind for taking me to Outi's place as she was heading back from Canada the day after. I crashed in bed and slept like a baby all day (cause night doesn't exist during summer in Finland!). The next day I met Susu, Outi's flatmate who is really nice too (in Finland you only find nice people :) and when Outi was back we went to the Muse concert which was amazing!

Riding the bicycle with Outi back home again during the day (11pm) through an infinite amount of trees, oxygen and the fresh scent of soil. At that moment I felt happy as never before and that's when I understood why some people call it "The Land of Fairies".

Imaginary World of Mine.

While listening to "You Look So Fine" by Garbage, I don't know why it switched me into my imaginary world. I felt the sea beneath my feet and the grains of cold sand biting my skin..."Dear sea", I said, "take me so faraway where I can no longer feel your presence. Drag me down, show me the prettiness of this creation and the unfound treasures; just leave me there"...

Beirut is getting so boring lately although I'm surrounded by awesome people. I have many pending things to do, but I chose to procrastinate. I will graduate this summer then it will be time for me to study for my Masters, but between those two steps, I really want to travel. I need to go on a trip for a few weeks, maybe somewhere around Europe - cause that's where my vision takes me every time.

I always wonder why I always see myself walking through Europe, and I really don't understand it... Who would like to join me on a trip this summer?? :)

I'm Wicked and I'm Laaaazy!

Waking up yesterday at 3h00pm (so I had slept 14 hours in total) really felt good. I woke up so lazy that I wanted to fall asleep again, and I felt like I could do that forever....

As the days pass by, I am lacking of interest in everything around me. I can feel everybody's problems, and I know that without them life would be so boring. But when I see the misery of my closest people I ask myself why should we procreate? Is it to bring more sorrow into this life?

Last time I had a chat with a friend and we had the same thoughts: "our planet is now suffering because we mistreated it, and bringing new babies will make them miserable. Where will they play? What will they eat? What about the air they will breathe?..." We also thought that our instinct of becoming mothers is too strong; we dream of having our own children one day but we will always hesitate.

Going back to the topic of being lazy which is just a good and bad feeling. It is good cause we are relaxed, and we don't care about what is going on around us, and the bad side is the fact that it becomes so addictive. Being lazy can be the effect of not having something to do to keep us busy or lacking interest about everything. In my case, I am sure that it is a temporary thing until I find something that I would really like to do.

I finally managed to wake up today and be more productive. I am now sitting in the kitchen while typing this note, looking into the light blue Mediterranean Sea knowing that it is a new day nicely painted with colors and little white clouds rising above...

*Song of the day:

Lazy by David Byrne

I'm Lazy when I'm loving
I'm Lazy when I play
I'm lazy with my girlfriend, a thousand times a day
I'm lazy when I'm speakin
I'm lazy when I walk
I'm lazy when I'm dancin
I'm lazy when I talk

Open up my mouth
Air comes rushin out
Nothin doin nada never how you like me now?
Wouldn't it be mad, wouldn't it be fine
Lazy lucky lady dancin lovin all the time

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me?

I'm lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy

There's some folks they got money &
Some folks life is sweet
Some folks make decisions &
Some folks clean the street

Now, Imagine what it feels like
Imagine how it sounds
Imagine life is perfect and every thing works out

No tears are falling from my eyes
I'm keepin all the pain inside
Now don't you want to live with me?
I'm lazy as a man can be

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me

I'm lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy

Imagine there's a girlfriend
Imagine there's a job
Imagine there's an answer
Imagine there's a God
Imagine I'm a Devil
Imagine I'm a Saint
Lazy money, lazy sexy, lazy outa space

No tears are falling from my eyes
I'm keepin all the pain inside
Now don't you want to live with me?
I'm lazy as a man can be

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me

Lazy when I work
Lazy all the day
Screamin all you like but it only fades away
I'm lazy when I'm prayin
Lazy on the job
Gota lazy mind, a lazy eye, a lazy lazy bod

Hard men, Hard Lives, Hard keepin it all inside
Good times, Good God, I'm so Lazy I almost stop

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me

I'm lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me!

Religion?

What is religion? For me, it is something that people have created so that they could be divided, or to cause unlimited conflicts. In Lebanon, I really don't understand why some people are still so closed minded and classify one another because of religion. I just can't understand why there is so much hate between people sharing the same nation. How can we progress and live in peace when we still ask about our neighbor's beliefs?

This issue is affecting me so much lately, when at some point I thought that we lived in a beautiful world. I can't believe that under one roof there can still be many issues starting from religion. I heard my parents whispering "oh does Samira have friends from another religion? etc..." And that literally broke my heart because they're being very judgmental.

I sometimes forget to ask my friends about their religious views, maybe because I just care about them as people and not as what or where they belong to. But there is one thing for sure, I prefer being around people that consider themselves as "citizens of the world" which has no boundaries and where only love and respect exist.

I really hope that I will still be alive when Lebanese people stop classifying each other and concentrate on solidarity. Despite all this, I'm glad that I keep meeting people that think the same way, which means that the mentality change is already taking place.

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one" - John Lennon.

Oh It's Such A Perfect Day!

A song that has been playing on my mind today is "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed. I've been longing for some time to have that perfect day, when I can go "drink sangria in a park, feed animals in the zoo, then later a movie too..." as it is mentioned in this song.

Due to the fact that I live in the city, and I somehow like it, I feel in need to get away from the pollution of urbanization and the noise that it causes. I think it's time for me to go and spend some quality time alone in the mountains and recharge my lungs with oxygen, walk around while listening to the birds and the frogs singing. I want to pick up an apple right from the tree, drink from the source, and run between the trees while getting lost in the forest...

I want to go, runaway, and get lost with my dear friend Solitude.

Here is the song that has been stuck in my head all day long:

Just a perfect day
drink sangria in a park
and then later
when it gets dark we go home
Just a perfect day
feed animals in the zoo
then later a movie, too
and then home

Oh it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spend it with you
oh such a perfect day you just keep me hangin on
you just keep me hangin on

just a perfect day
problems all left alone
Weekenders on our own
it's such fun
just a perfect day
you make me forget myself
I thought I was someone else
someone good

You're going to reap just what you sow

The Need To Write.

For the past two days I have been feeling a weird energy and an urge to write. Maybe I am encouraged by Meedo because he has just launched his blog :)

A few years ago, I used to write in French on a notebook, and I would tear every page apart and throw it away. My favorite teacher at school encouraged me to write (of course in French), and I remember her telling me that "it will make me grow". But I never really understood what she meant until recently. I really miss writing in French and I love that language, but it is very frustrating to type it on the keyboard!

Right now I am allowing myself to travel through my thoughts and what I see is a vision of Rue Monot and I don't know why (this happens to me a lot). I see myself wandering through that street during the day looking for "A Teacher". At this point in my life, I really feel the need to learn from a wise person a little bit of everything. I am very sure that I am capable of doing many things, but what is missing is orientation.

Discovering my "Gifts" is what matters to me at the moment. Maybe writing, is not among them, but I will make sure to write about them once I figure them out!

The Change Opener.

One of my favorite quotes is by Katharine Butler Hathaway that goes: "A person needs at intervals to separate from family and companions and go to new places. One must go without familiars in order to be open to influences, to change". This quote made me understand that being stubborn and hanging on to some ideas may lead to stagnation. So no change means no progress.

When the river flows its water changes, life is created, and golden lines of light shine on its surface.

On a warm August eve in 2009, I met Meedo, a man that changed my life when I saw his soul shining like crystal and reflecting wisdom into mine. On that night I remember telling my best friend Hala: "Did you see that man wearing glasses and carrying his camera in a protected case? Well I just know that all I want is to be with him". Fortunately, that is what happened. Then I prayed so I could be able to change his life and mine for the best with love.

On January 2010, Meedo decided to go on a trip to India with one of his best friends called Corinne. They stayed in Kerala - South of India - at an Ashram for one month. All I can say is that Meedo left Lebanon knowing that he was ready to open for changes. When he got back all I could see was the biggest smile he ever had. He started to tell me some stories about his life changing trip and about the great time he spent there while meeting new people, chanting, meditating, learning yoga, taking pictures, reading and so many other activities...

From this short story I can refer once again to Hathaway's quote and understand that we all need to get away from our daily routine and meet new faces so we could change our perceptions, bring new ideas, and take new challenges so we could have new goals to reach. Looking into the real world from the outside can help us see our weaknesses in it and that can be an opportunity to make us grow stronger.

The above picture was taken by Meedo in New Orleans. It shows how similar we are to this window: it can be opened or closed depending on the season. Its blurry reflections could change depending the light, people who walk by might not see it, some others might see it and be indifferent, as others might stop and think of how beautiful it is...

For me it is easier to analyse other people's experiences rather than mine, so I try to learn from them. All these stories made me realize that nobody can change you except yourself.

A Passion For...

I was just thinking that what distinguishes people is their passion about something. Some people are passionate about art, others about science, and some about history or travelling, etc... What is my passion? Is what we are passionate about attractive to other people?

A part of my attraction to others is mainly for what they are passionate about. This may be a way to judge them or to find if they are interesting or boring, courageous or cowards... These people can give us some new ideas that may change our life by killing boredom.

Passion creates to them an aura. I met a person that I think is great. He has a passion for writing notes and he is brilliant which is why passion needs a talent to be completed. I also met a person who is fond of photography, and the pictures he takes are more than amazing. He worked on every single photo to make it look different, genuine. I have met a girl that is passionate about clubbing, and her whole life stands on that. In this case, passion started to become a vice. She cannot live without clubbing every single night to the point where she becomes very depressed if she missed. Her friend is passionate about clothes. She has a great style and is always coming up with something new to wear, but again, there she is stuck in a vicious circle to become a shopaholic...

Since I was a kid, I was always passionate about cameras. I had my first camera when I was eight years old, and I still remember very well that my mother gave me 20,000 Ecuadorian Sucres at that time to buy it. The color of that camera was pink and it really did work! I think that was my first passion. I am still fond of photography and I try to take the best pictures although I hope that one day I would be able to afford a professional camera!

Now, I am passionate about many things other than photography. A very good friend of mine who is French, Thierry, introduced me to the passion of travelling. Because of him I love being in new countries. Meeting new people, getting introduced to new cultures, walking on old streets, watching sunsets and sunrises, feeling the heat or getting cold which are never the same in any other country... I am waiting to see if life will be hiding for me a new passion so I can grow with it...

My first Blog - Being in Lebanon

I have always admired other people's blogs. This is where I thought: why wouldn't I write a blog too? Even if my English is not perfect, I will try my best to write what I think, and share some of my thoughts with you.

Lately, I've been spending most of the time being with myself. I enjoy the silence, but silence in Lebanon - where I am currently living - is always being interrupted by the cars' horns, loud music coming from a Lebanese gigolo's car "boofer", and from the neighbours living above me that decide to move their chairs every five minutes... But I don't care as long as I can spend my time gazing at the breath taking view of the Mediterranean sea from the balcony of my parents' apartment.

When I try to break this "silence" at night, I turn on my little Renault Clio car - so called Jaafarique - and go towards the very famous district in Lebanon, Gemmayzeh. I am always fascinated by this place. This avenue is always crowded with young people, pretty girls that look like they are in a beauty contest wearing their fashionable clothes, and again the Lebanese gigolo in his latest Porsche giving it - with his heart in his hand - to the "Valet Parking"... No matter what you see at this place, it is always astonishing. The old traditional buildings that have been renovated glow so beautifully in the dark, and give you a nostalgic feeling of what Beirut was back in the days... Beirut, a city that has been built over seven old Beiruts that have drowned through the years is the place where you can always find Roman ruins in any of its corners...

At night, Lebanon is pretty; but sometimes during the day you will wonder why did its lights disappear...