Samirai in "The Land of Fairies" Part 2.

The next two days Outi and I went for a walk in a forest where I got bitten by mosquitos all over my face. I soon forgot about the rash after being surrounded by trees, lakes, birds and butterflies. I tried to take pictures of them but it was impossible for me to take good ones!

Back to Helsinki's city center by bicycle where Outi showed me the building where her office is located (check the picture above, it's amazing!), then we went to meet Maria at a very cosy coffee house where I had my first (and yummiest!) Korvapustii, a Finnish cinnamon roll. The coffee house was located on top of a small hill with a nice view on a lake. Outi and Maria told me to watch out for my food from the seagulls cause those villains can attack my food anytime! Seagulls, beware of the Ghoul! :)

Another day comes when Outi introduced me to one of her childhood friends Ellina, a very sweet mother to be (the yummi mumi!). We took a ferry to Suomenlinna (Castle of Finland) an inhabited sea fortress built on six islands by Sweden in 1748, when Finland was still a part of the Swedish kingdom. It was obviously a nice tourist destination in Helsinki as it was crowded. I couldn't resist my hunger, so I had a pear ice cream which I found very creamy and tasty. Finland this summer had one of the hottest seasons ever recorded, and it was very common to see the high demand on ice cream!

The sun is still beautifully shining as always during summertime in Helsinki. Outi had planned to take me on a boat trip on the Baltic sea that passes through Helsinki with her friends Miki and Eetu. Outi and Eetu amazingly practiced waterskiing, and I felt like I really wanted to try it but unfortunately I couldn't because of my herniated disk. Miki, the boat owner, couldn't do that also cause he had injured his arm a few days back.

After waterskiing we kept passing some little green islands where we wanted to choose a good barbecue spot. I realized that every single tiny island has a BBQ spot with all the equipment! Eetu cut the wood to light up the fire while Miki was preparing the food. Outi and I just sat down contemplating the hot air balloons, the fire and the sea... The food was great, then Eetu played his guitar while singing a Finnish song for us. On our way back, Miki gave me a fishing cane then slowed down his boat a little so I could find some fish but of course I couldn't find any!

The next day Outi and I went to buy some souvenirs, and that's where I met Muumi (a Finnish cartoon character) my favorite cartoon character ever! I got two can openers for my family which are made out of rain deer horns (no, they don't kill the animal, it's very safe: they just cut them off and they grow back!). After that we went for coffee at the Blue House on a lake, and of course once again I had Korvapustii! Later we went shopping, biking, eating, drinking then of course ice cream on a nice marina where the seagulls cry and the children play.

Samirai in "The Land of Fairies" Part 1.

I proved to myself and to all the people who didn't believe in me that I could finally graduate from university. When I came back from Qatar, I promised myself to go on vacation once this mission is accomplished (aka university). Since I always keep my promises that's what I did. I booked a ticket to Helsinki and went to visit my very dear Finnish friend Outi whom I will thank for the rest of my life. :)

On the airplane from Beirut to Prague, I met a Swedish-Lebanese lady who was in her sixties and planing to postpone her retirement because she loves her job. She was absolutely adorable, and we happened to have the same amount of hours to wait in Prague at the airport before reaching our destinations. She was telling me how her husband decided to go to Stockholm during the Lebanese civil war thirty five years ago. During that time, he was the president of the municipality of a village in the South. The Lebanese President back then helped him to start a better life in Sweden. Suad, is her name, told me how happy she was after moving to Scandinavia, and how shocked she feels every time she decides to visit Lebanon. We spent six hours at Prague airport and they went so fast cause I really enjoyed her company.

Another Lebanese-Norwegian lady called Sabah waited with us, and she also shared her story. She is divorced, living with her two young boys in Oslo while suffering the pain that her husband gives her all the time since their divorce. I remember her telling me: "I was shocked when I realised after fifteen years of marriage that my partner became a completely different person. He wasn't the one I chose to marry anymore...". She said that she fears loneliness but at the same time she loves Norway and would never come back to live in Lebanon.

I arrived to Helsinki after a long trip, very pale (I have the fear of flying so I HATE airplanes!) I met Outi's friend called Maria who was very kind for taking me to Outi's place as she was heading back from Canada the day after. I crashed in bed and slept like a baby all day (cause night doesn't exist during summer in Finland!). The next day I met Susu, Outi's flatmate who is really nice too (in Finland you only find nice people :) and when Outi was back we went to the Muse concert which was amazing!

Riding the bicycle with Outi back home again during the day (11pm) through an infinite amount of trees, oxygen and the fresh scent of soil. At that moment I felt happy as never before and that's when I understood why some people call it "The Land of Fairies".

Imaginary World of Mine.

While listening to "You Look So Fine" by Garbage, I don't know why it switched me into my imaginary world. I felt the sea beneath my feet and the grains of cold sand biting my skin..."Dear sea", I said, "take me so faraway where I can no longer feel your presence. Drag me down, show me the prettiness of this creation and the unfound treasures; just leave me there"...

Beirut is getting so boring lately although I'm surrounded by awesome people. I have many pending things to do, but I chose to procrastinate. I will graduate this summer then it will be time for me to study for my Masters, but between those two steps, I really want to travel. I need to go on a trip for a few weeks, maybe somewhere around Europe - cause that's where my vision takes me every time.

I always wonder why I always see myself walking through Europe, and I really don't understand it... Who would like to join me on a trip this summer?? :)

I'm Wicked and I'm Laaaazy!

Waking up yesterday at 3h00pm (so I had slept 14 hours in total) really felt good. I woke up so lazy that I wanted to fall asleep again, and I felt like I could do that forever....

As the days pass by, I am lacking of interest in everything around me. I can feel everybody's problems, and I know that without them life would be so boring. But when I see the misery of my closest people I ask myself why should we procreate? Is it to bring more sorrow into this life?

Last time I had a chat with a friend and we had the same thoughts: "our planet is now suffering because we mistreated it, and bringing new babies will make them miserable. Where will they play? What will they eat? What about the air they will breathe?..." We also thought that our instinct of becoming mothers is too strong; we dream of having our own children one day but we will always hesitate.

Going back to the topic of being lazy which is just a good and bad feeling. It is good cause we are relaxed, and we don't care about what is going on around us, and the bad side is the fact that it becomes so addictive. Being lazy can be the effect of not having something to do to keep us busy or lacking interest about everything. In my case, I am sure that it is a temporary thing until I find something that I would really like to do.

I finally managed to wake up today and be more productive. I am now sitting in the kitchen while typing this note, looking into the light blue Mediterranean Sea knowing that it is a new day nicely painted with colors and little white clouds rising above...

*Song of the day:

Lazy by David Byrne

I'm Lazy when I'm loving
I'm Lazy when I play
I'm lazy with my girlfriend, a thousand times a day
I'm lazy when I'm speakin
I'm lazy when I walk
I'm lazy when I'm dancin
I'm lazy when I talk

Open up my mouth
Air comes rushin out
Nothin doin nada never how you like me now?
Wouldn't it be mad, wouldn't it be fine
Lazy lucky lady dancin lovin all the time

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me?

I'm lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy

There's some folks they got money &
Some folks life is sweet
Some folks make decisions &
Some folks clean the street

Now, Imagine what it feels like
Imagine how it sounds
Imagine life is perfect and every thing works out

No tears are falling from my eyes
I'm keepin all the pain inside
Now don't you want to live with me?
I'm lazy as a man can be

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me

I'm lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy

Imagine there's a girlfriend
Imagine there's a job
Imagine there's an answer
Imagine there's a God
Imagine I'm a Devil
Imagine I'm a Saint
Lazy money, lazy sexy, lazy outa space

No tears are falling from my eyes
I'm keepin all the pain inside
Now don't you want to live with me?
I'm lazy as a man can be

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me

Lazy when I work
Lazy all the day
Screamin all you like but it only fades away
I'm lazy when I'm prayin
Lazy on the job
Gota lazy mind, a lazy eye, a lazy lazy bod

Hard men, Hard Lives, Hard keepin it all inside
Good times, Good God, I'm so Lazy I almost stop

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me

I'm lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy

Ohh , I'm wicked and I'm lazy
Ohh, Don't you want to save me!

Religion?

What is religion? For me, it is something that people have created so that they could be divided, or to cause unlimited conflicts. In Lebanon, I really don't understand why some people are still so closed minded and classify one another because of religion. I just can't understand why there is so much hate between people sharing the same nation. How can we progress and live in peace when we still ask about our neighbor's beliefs?

This issue is affecting me so much lately, when at some point I thought that we lived in a beautiful world. I can't believe that under one roof there can still be many issues starting from religion. I heard my parents whispering "oh does Samira have friends from another religion? etc..." And that literally broke my heart because they're being very judgmental.

I sometimes forget to ask my friends about their religious views, maybe because I just care about them as people and not as what or where they belong to. But there is one thing for sure, I prefer being around people that consider themselves as "citizens of the world" which has no boundaries and where only love and respect exist.

I really hope that I will still be alive when Lebanese people stop classifying each other and concentrate on solidarity. Despite all this, I'm glad that I keep meeting people that think the same way, which means that the mentality change is already taking place.

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one" - John Lennon.

Oh It's Such A Perfect Day!

A song that has been playing on my mind today is "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed. I've been longing for some time to have that perfect day, when I can go "drink sangria in a park, feed animals in the zoo, then later a movie too..." as it is mentioned in this song.

Due to the fact that I live in the city, and I somehow like it, I feel in need to get away from the pollution of urbanization and the noise that it causes. I think it's time for me to go and spend some quality time alone in the mountains and recharge my lungs with oxygen, walk around while listening to the birds and the frogs singing. I want to pick up an apple right from the tree, drink from the source, and run between the trees while getting lost in the forest...

I want to go, runaway, and get lost with my dear friend Solitude.

Here is the song that has been stuck in my head all day long:

Just a perfect day
drink sangria in a park
and then later
when it gets dark we go home
Just a perfect day
feed animals in the zoo
then later a movie, too
and then home

Oh it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spend it with you
oh such a perfect day you just keep me hangin on
you just keep me hangin on

just a perfect day
problems all left alone
Weekenders on our own
it's such fun
just a perfect day
you make me forget myself
I thought I was someone else
someone good

You're going to reap just what you sow

The Need To Write.

For the past two days I have been feeling a weird energy and an urge to write. Maybe I am encouraged by Meedo because he has just launched his blog :)

A few years ago, I used to write in French on a notebook, and I would tear every page apart and throw it away. My favorite teacher at school encouraged me to write (of course in French), and I remember her telling me that "it will make me grow". But I never really understood what she meant until recently. I really miss writing in French and I love that language, but it is very frustrating to type it on the keyboard!

Right now I am allowing myself to travel through my thoughts and what I see is a vision of Rue Monot and I don't know why (this happens to me a lot). I see myself wandering through that street during the day looking for "A Teacher". At this point in my life, I really feel the need to learn from a wise person a little bit of everything. I am very sure that I am capable of doing many things, but what is missing is orientation.

Discovering my "Gifts" is what matters to me at the moment. Maybe writing, is not among them, but I will make sure to write about them once I figure them out!

The Change Opener.

One of my favorite quotes is by Katharine Butler Hathaway that goes: "A person needs at intervals to separate from family and companions and go to new places. One must go without familiars in order to be open to influences, to change". This quote made me understand that being stubborn and hanging on to some ideas may lead to stagnation. So no change means no progress.

When the river flows its water changes, life is created, and golden lines of light shine on its surface.

On a warm August eve in 2009, I met Meedo, a man that changed my life when I saw his soul shining like crystal and reflecting wisdom into mine. On that night I remember telling my best friend Hala: "Did you see that man wearing glasses and carrying his camera in a protected case? Well I just know that all I want is to be with him". Fortunately, that is what happened. Then I prayed so I could be able to change his life and mine for the best with love.

On January 2010, Meedo decided to go on a trip to India with one of his best friends called Corinne. They stayed in Kerala - South of India - at an Ashram for one month. All I can say is that Meedo left Lebanon knowing that he was ready to open for changes. When he got back all I could see was the biggest smile he ever had. He started to tell me some stories about his life changing trip and about the great time he spent there while meeting new people, chanting, meditating, learning yoga, taking pictures, reading and so many other activities...

From this short story I can refer once again to Hathaway's quote and understand that we all need to get away from our daily routine and meet new faces so we could change our perceptions, bring new ideas, and take new challenges so we could have new goals to reach. Looking into the real world from the outside can help us see our weaknesses in it and that can be an opportunity to make us grow stronger.

The above picture was taken by Meedo in New Orleans. It shows how similar we are to this window: it can be opened or closed depending on the season. Its blurry reflections could change depending the light, people who walk by might not see it, some others might see it and be indifferent, as others might stop and think of how beautiful it is...

For me it is easier to analyse other people's experiences rather than mine, so I try to learn from them. All these stories made me realize that nobody can change you except yourself.